


What Did I Bloody Do To Deserve This? The Jonas Trevelyan Diaries

by Lannister418



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Diary/Journal, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Screenshots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-08
Updated: 2017-11-08
Packaged: 2019-01-31 02:24:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12666354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lannister418/pseuds/Lannister418
Summary: Discovered in a dusty archive at the White Spire in Val Royeaux, and initially believed to be a forgery, these notebooks have proven to be the original journals and jottings of the Herald of Andraste, Lord Inquisitor Jonas Trevelyan.  They are published here, with only minor editing, as part of the ongoing debate that has gripped the Chantry for almost a decade - Was Jonas Trevelyan TRULY the Maker's Chosen, or just a big idiot who happened to be in the wrong place and the right time?





	What Did I Bloody Do To Deserve This? The Jonas Trevelyan Diaries

Jonas Trevelyan: His Diary

**The Early Days**

Didn't want to go to the stupid Conclave, wanted to go wyvern hunting in Nevarra, but Pa insisted.

  
Now there's a bloody great hole in the sky, people are shouting at me, demons are trying to eat me face and there's a weird glowy mark on me hand.

  
Shouldn’t have to put up with this sober!

 

**Day 1: Haven**

Met bald Elf - not a servant, weird! Said glowy mark can close the hole in the sky. Don't trust him...

And a Dwarf in a shirt that’s too bloody small for him… another Marcher – maybe he can help me get out of this bloody mess!

Met grumpy Templar, at least he didn’t punch me like the grumpy Seeker kept doing...

Ain’t fair.. didn’t do nothing…

Glowy mark didn’t close the hole but it did stop it getting bigger.  People ain’t punching me now

Suppose that’s a good thing…

**Day 3: Haven**

No-one's tried to kill me today, that's good...

Found this strange armour in my room – all rope and leather… oddly comfortable; Solas (that’s the bald Elf) seemed to like it...

Varric asked me what my 'Safe Word' was... had to look up what that meant

...got changed

**Day 14: Hinterlands**

Bloody Mages! Bloody Templars! Bloody Demons! Hate Ferelden - beer's piss and they put cheese in everything!

Seeker Pentaghast doesn't shout at me so much - think she likes me 'cause I helped the peasants; Pa always says only an oik doesn't - Rams make a funny noise when you hit 'em with a greatsword – ha ha ha

  
Asked Commander Cullen if he prefers a rugged grip or a firm round pommel and he went very red and stammery - odd chap!

Varric calls me 'Syrup' 'cause he says I'm thick and rich - told him his books were shite...

Off to Val Royeaux tomorrow to talk with priests - BORING! Hope they have those little frilly cakes though!

**Day 26 - Val Royeaux**

He hit a priest! You don't hit priests!!!! Arghhh - bloody Templars, now I'm really angry

Some tit shot fire at my face - bloody Mages!!!  Met another strange Elf - think I might be in there!  
No breeches + greatsword = messy! Ha ha ha

No frilly cakes so far...

 

**Day 27 - Val Royeaux**

Went to party - thought Orlesians were supposed to be sophisticated? They all stared like they'd never seen a man with a fancy horn before...

Some tit tried to pick a fight, but he froze before I could get a good punch in - LITERALLY! Beginning to think the Templars have a point...

Didn't want Mme du Fer but Seeker Pentaghast thinks it's safer to have her where we can see her

No frilly cakes.... Hate Orlais; want to go home...

**Day 41: Haven**

Val Royeaux a bloody waste of time. Sera still seems into me though - says I'm not like most toffs.

Agreed with her... most toffs are pricks!

Cull and Lelly still bickering over bloody Templars vs bloody Mages. Said I'd rather kick them all into the next bloody Fade Rift if I had a big enough boot. Seeker Pentaghast seemed to like that; never figured her for having a sense of humour - still, she's not shouting at me these days, so that's good...

Seen Cull eyeing up my horn a few times so asked if he wanted to blow it - didn't want him to think I had a grudge over our little spat - he did that whole red-faced stammery thing again and said he could only be my friend. Nice... but not sure why that means he can't blow my horn?

Maybe I’m being thick and it's some Fereldan thing I haven't picked up on...

Asked Varric - he just laughed and said he 'couldn't make this shit up if he tried' Oh well!

It's been a couple of weeks. will see if I can finally get somewhere with Sera

Damn....Looks like it's just me and Righty again tonight...

....unless

....I wonder?

He he he... the Mark tickles....

 


End file.
